It's Not the Pale Moon That Excites Me

It was something like 25 days of rain that San Franciscans endured. Some say that this might be a Buiness Book of World Records record. Either that, or the Start Of Something Big.

But! Today was different. The sun shone from the instant I saw the yellow pavement. No, that was not a dog and its peenmanship. It was a humid morning. San Franciscans must have been ecstatic. You know how I know? Because I got this flattering email that I will print verbatim:



April 4

XXXXXXXXX (Harper's name withheld to protect his/her real identity)

Hey!

Making a list of the advertising department at the
academy. If you know someone who's name isn't on this,
please send it over or forward them this email. Puting
together a list for everyone's records. Will send out
a final email when the list is complete.

Blithe

p.s. I hope no one takes advantage of this list and
starts sending spam. just ad stuff please!



(OKAY, innocent enough. But what if it's a spammer? I (Carlos) choose to be on the cautious side)

Apr 5 (2 days ago)

Who are you and what is this for aside from a list "for everyone's records"? And for whom do you work?



(Sure, a bit standoffish. But who sends emails with the intention of getting this forwarded to multiples and chooses to start it with "Hey!", with poor spellchecking, and lowercase starts of sentences? Anyway, it gets better obviously.



Harper Blithe
to me

Apr 6

Oh yeah, I heard about you. Don't worry, I'm removing
you from the list. Everyone happily obliged. You
didn't. Typical.



(Ouchie! What the heck was that? Did I miss something? Well, obviously, the reputation precedes the man, but wow! I got slammed. Meanwhile, some girl thinks the email list is a great idea, and uses the email addresses to get some collaboration on a project of hers. Kudos, Harper! I, on the other hand, prepare my salvo.)




Carlos Garchitorena
to Harper, (bcc:alaushman), (bcc:aherre) ...
More options 12:32 am (22 minutes ago)
Dear Mr Blithe,

Obviously, you don't listen to what people tell you about me. And what's more, you expect me (and everybody) to happily oblige some mass email from a complete stranger who doesn't bother to clarify matters with a simple "I am so-and-so, and I want to create a network of students who can share creative insight, network, and show off their respective talents in an increasingly competetive world saturated with inane media and a dearth of cooperation--when our only objective is to further the consolidation of art and commerce for the good of Peace, Justice, and the American Way." Instead you admit a huge lack of foresight by including me in your well-meaning but unfortunately uninforming and informal email in which, when pressed for said clarification, you choose to be judgemental, shortsighted, and flatly sarcastic. And guess what? *I've never heard of you*. I'd rather be notorious than unknown. Furthermore, fuck you.

Yours Truly,
Carlos Garchitorena

ps: Attached are some screen shots re: your interesting name. Fitting.

pps: Anyone looking for a copywriter? email me blarmey@yahoo.com. About me: in need of intelligent discourse when brainstorming; I like: challenging briefs, concepts and consumer insight to reflect my fascination for "Eh?...Ahhhhh!" advertisements; my fave campaigns: the Economist, Comcastic, and my personal favorite, hybridcenter.org; when critiqueing/brainstorming, I will: 1) give it to you straight, 2) will never say "no", 3) will not stop at a mediocre idea; willing to teach and learn, but only in equal portions.



(Of course, true to form, I fail to attach the said picture files, but needless to say, the dictionary definitions of Harper Blithe are less-than-flattering.)



END OF COMMUNIQUE



So I will update you on the case of Garchitorena v Blithe.